So decided you want to hire a doula for your upcoming birth! Hooray! But with so many options out there, how do you decide which doula is the best one for you and your family!
There are the obvious questions about everything from experience to training to fees. And those are all really important questions to ask.
But adding a doula to your birth team means you're adding another person to your birth story. That's a really big thing to do! Birth is arguably one of the most intimate and transformative experiences in life so choosing to add someone to that story shouldn't be taken lightly.
So once you get The Big Three Questions out of the way, here are a few more questios to ask your potential doula so make sure they're the right fit for you:
How do you tailor your support to match different birth preferences and personalities? Birth is not one-size-fits-all. Every birth, every person, and every family are unique so you need someone who is going to meet your specific needs and goals.
Can you share an experience where you helped a client navigate an unexpected challenge during labor? Sometimes things go sideways during birth. You need to make sure your doula is capable of handling unexpected circumstances, whatever they mat be.
How do you collaborate with medical staff in a hospital setting to ensure my birth plan is respected? Working in coordination with your birth team - especially in a hospital setting - is critical to the success of your birth story. If you're planning a hospital birth with a doula, make sure you know how they interact with hospital staff.
What are your go-to comfort measures and pain management techniques during labor? Some people like physical comfort, some like words of affirmation, some want music, some just need a hand to squeeze (like, reeeeeeally squeeze). A doula should be prepared to handle all those scenarios. But all doulas are different, so learning what their go-to moves are can help you determine who's the best for you.
How do you support my partner so they feel confident and involved during the birth? If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: DOULAS DO NOT REPLACE YOUR PARTNER. Your partner should feel just as supported as you by your doula. Having your potential doula speak directly to your partner about how they'll help facilitate your connection and partnership during childbirth is key.
What’s your philosophy on advocating for clients without overstepping medical boundaries? This goes along with number 3. Doulas need to be able to work in connection with your provider. That doesn't mean not asking questions to help you better understand. It just means that, while I might not know the reasons your provider is recommending a course of action, I do know what questions to help you ask to make sure you're getting the information you need to make the right decision for you and your baby.
How do you handle situations where labor isn’t going as planned or interventions become necessary? Again, sometimes things go sideways in childbirth. Being able to improvise, adapt, and overcome (a line my retired Navy hsuband likes to use with me a LOT) is a big part of what a doula should be able to do for you.
What does postpartum support with you look like, and how long do you stay involved after birth? Those first few hours after birth can sometimes feel really overwhelming. Most birth doulas stay with their clients for an hour or two after birth to make sure you and your body are feeling okay.
Have you worked with clients who have had trauma or anxiety surrounding birth? How do you approach that? Trauma-informed birth support is a big deal. Too many people have traumatic birth stories and are trying to recover from that. Sometimes that means having a goal of a "redemption birth". Doulas need to be able to work with people who come from all kinds of backgrounds, and sometimes that means working with people with a trauma history. Whether or not you choose to divulge the details is up to you, but if you have something that might cause you anxiety during childbirth, make sure your doula knows that and find out how they deal with those situations.
What sets you apart from other doulas, and why do you love this work? Not all doulas are alike. There are a bajillion doulas out there, all with a different skill set or philosophy or training or whatever! The right doula is out there for you. Decide on the things that are most important or non-negotiables to you and ask the doulas you're interviewing what their thoughts are on those items.
Every person and family that wants a doula should get to have one! The right one is out there for you. And now, with a few more, not-so-generic questions, you might be able to find the perfect one for you!
XOXO,
Micah the pink haired doula
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